Alan Carr

The hilariously camp, highly sympathetic Gemini, known as Alan Carr is not all that meets the eye, in other words not all teeth and glasses. In fact best not to jump to conclusions about who he is, as his outer persona, i.e. that big grin and all that entertaining spiel might cover up a basically shy Gemini. Nah we hear you cry!!! We know, hard to believe, especially since he struts around the stage, his audience falling about at his cutting quips and fast repartee. Our chap was born in Dorset and moved to Manchester when he realised that he was getting absolutely nowhere fast in any facet of his existence. He always wanted to make em laugh; cheering up the general public was doing something positive for humanity after all.  He is sharp, to the point and is eye observant, taking in the variants of human nature with natural ease, and still managing to convey its quirks with great aplomb.

 
He likes to camp it up, but has said “I just think gay people need to get over themselves. Just because you’re gay and on the telly doesn’t mean you’re a role model. I’m just a comedian. That’s all I am…. What am I meant to do? Do I go down the Julian Clary route and talk about fisting and poppers? I don’t talk about being gay and I think what better equality for gays than that?” His rise to fame included appearances at Edinburgh shows and in 2007 he toured the UK, but what is it that makes this fun chappie click with his audience so resolutely? Well of course Gemini as his sun sign for starters, Mr. Quicksilver, the winger messenger, makes sure that mind of his remains alert, bright, and perceptive. Just as a note of interest, as far as education is concerned Alan is certainly no shirker; he has a BA (Hons) in Drama and Theatre Studies from Middlesex University. His moon in Capricorn would make him a grounded sort of chap, able to burn the midnight oil when it comes to research and picking up new and original information. 
He has a sense of competition, of being the best, yet he is also someone who hates to see others hurting each other, and cannot quite get his head around humanity’s sicker traits like torture, racism, sexism etc. The split side of his Gemini picture might make it a bit difficult for him to integrate the more materialistic aspects of life with a higher, more comedic vision. He might get lost along the way, and it has to be said his road to success has not always been paved in gold, especially regarding a love life, which could be strewn with conflict. He is inclined to worry about it even though his emotional nature is adventurous, experimental. In fact he is the kind of guy who likes to carry on a long term conversation with the object of his affections, and gets upset when things get emotionally taxing and less than fascinating as a result. He doesn’t like a classic relationship, but he wants closeness, so there are some contradictions for him to deal with, especially as he is inclined to get sudden crushes, due to a fiery Mars placement. It has to be faced, our friend is basically an intellectual, who, as we inferred, can grasp the more complex absurdities of existence to get his audience laughing.
 
His intelligence is an advantage when it comes to a fun take on reality, less of an advantage when he worries about all the possible things that could go wrong. He will ruminate, more than excessively, until he has brought up some extremely creative and original quip. He is also well grounded enough not to allow himself to be overcome by fraught thoughts. In fact his comedic talents help him to shift focus off his own darker side. A lovely Venus in Gemini showers him with originality, he is one of those guys who can captivate you without you realising it. It is not unusual to see rapt faces staring up at him the during one of his performances as Mars in Leo will literally lift him into the moment, making each performance vibrant with intensity, In other words he just must express himself, if he does not he will get hit with an attack of the blues and could be sulky. There is a sense that this is a guy who likes to keep on the move, he would fidget, and he does not want to remain stuck in one boring place. 
As a kid his mum would have yelled “Alan for goodness sake stop wiggling!” But it is his north node in Scorpio that closes the deal. This is a man who will be enigma to his friends, there is something about him that is difficult to suss, perhaps because we do not realise that he is on a sort of mission, and it is to plunge into the depths of human nature, pull it up and then flash it in front of us, realistically, satirically, derisively, mocking us, in any event, making us laugh. Over the next year his career will become even more than well established, he will take on interesting work projects, even more tours, he will be in demand in other words. He cannot fail to be a cross between a camp comedian and a social commentator, he has us giggling, intrigued, curious and over the next couple of years his genial take will put him on the international map. Alan, we love to have fun with you, when you are around!

Paul O’Grady

“I got mistaken for a serial killer in Germany once. Two years ago, I was in Berlin and they let some nut out and the people in the street were all going’ “Ooh ooh!” pointing at me, and I thought, “Oh I didn’t know they had the Lilly Savage Show here”. So said the multi dimensional Mr. Paul O Grady MBE. Paul would just have to be a Gemini, Gemini can be so extraordinarily talented, and add on Paul’s Mercury also in Gemini, one can only safely say he is a borderline genius, his creative ideas stimulating, intriguing and amusing us all. The fact that Mr. O Grady looks like a bank manager should not put anyone off,  after all one must never judge a book by its cover because you just don’t know what cover you are going to get when it comes to Paul! He might just be pretending to be main stream, your average Jo Bloggs, Mr. Ordinary, but the fact is this is a brilliant comedian and awesome TV presenter, a man who once had us all guffawing at the outrageously absurd shenanigans of a certain Ms Lily Savage.

 

Every time he morphed into his extravagant alter persona Lily, a vamp from the nether regions whose dry comments and homespun advice would liven up any show, party or wedding, we were gob smacked, she was unbelievably funny, and oddly, we all knew we had a friend just like Lily in our lives. He took his Lily everywhere and it was not long before the two of them would walk down the road to success. But how did Paul and Lily meet? Well, right from the start Paul had a thing about expressing the many facets of his multifarious personality. He worked as a civil servant, a bar man, a woodsman, a clerk and a social worker. But it was when he was working as a waiter in Manila that Lily Savage came into being. She probably appeared just as he was about to say “beam me up Scotty!” certainly her origins were on the edge of some nether region! It was not long before this glamourous, big haired, super made up, wise cracking broad held the United Kingdom in the palm of her hands, strutting her stuff in gay clubs, bars, and eventually on TV.  Lily even made guest appearances on shows like The Big Breakfast, and Blankety Blank, always a force to be reckoned with, so outrageous that sometimes one had to rub one’s eyes to make sure that what one was seeing, and hearing, was actually happening.  Perhaps inspired by his own Irish Catholic upbringing, in 2000. Paul informed us all that Lily had seen the light and had gone off to live in a convent in France. We were sad at her demise, but also glad to see our hero trot off to launch yet another new facet to his multi dimensional personality, his own television show travelling the Orient. 

 

Obviously his successful expansion into broadcasting continued. He hosted his own chat show, and has been a guest on many a radio and TV spectacle, even branching into DJ-ing on Paul O’Grady on the Wireless. Paul’s personal life has been almost as multifarious as his show biz activities. There was a marriage of convenience, to a Portuguese friend, and from that marriage he sired a daughter Sharyn and is now grandfather to a beautiful boy Abel. With that Venus in Gemini, living with Paul would keep anyone on their toes, you might never know which sub personality you are going to share your breakfast with. Suffice it to say he will chat, chat, chat mesmerizing you with his new ideas, perceptions, and insights. But that Mars in Cancer will make him a solid companion, he loves a beautiful home,  a domestic environment where he can just hang up his hat, contemplate  in peace and enjoy all that life has gifted him with.

 

He is a kindly man, with a good heart, and he has a need to look after others, just as he would like to be looked after himself.  He suffered from a major heart attack, after not feeling well for some time in 2002, but such hard times were compensated in 2003 when the Observer listed him as one of the funniest British actors in show biz.  In October 2008 he was awarded an MBE for his services to entertainment, and we cannot think of anyone who deserves it more. So what shows up for our friend for the next year or so? Well it looks like we will see considerable changes to Paul’s life. Mr. Mercury has always been his friend, and will encourage the planet Pluto to help him dig deep within to bring forth yet another scintillating idea, or sub personality. It is more than likely Paul will write a book, or perhaps a screen play. 

 

His life has been challenging, his own psyche intense and complex, he is inclined to worry, due his overstimulated and active mind, blame that again on Mr. Mercury. But Mr. Pluto, planet of the underworld, will help our friend delve into the depths and morph into so many variants of who he actually is, it will continue to be nothing short of miraculous! We feel this capacity will never leave him really and that he will continue to use his considerable gifts with great success. We would not be surprised at anything this genial man does; he is an inspiration, with that unusual, perceptive talent, and he will have us galvanised to our small screens for years to come! God bless you Paul.

 

Joan Rivers

Who is the loud-mouthed blonde with that deafening New York accent, the senior citizen with the quick repartee and noisy personality? The kind of dame that could wake the dead with her strident take on human existence? Why Super Gemini Joan Rivers of course. With her Sun, Mercury and Venus all in Gemini, she is a communicative broad par excellence, the kind who wisecracks all the way to the plastic surgeon, dentist, beauty parlour, hairdresser, psychoanalyst and coffee shop. Nothing escapes her bright, penetrating mind, her hilarious take on the human condition. She is the kind of lady who can look at tragedies, joys and most human escapades with a piercing scream and a deafening shaggy dog story!

Joan Alexandra Molinsky is a Brooklyn girl, her genes are Russian-Jewish, her upbringing middle class, and her dad was a doctor. But she inherited a special, magical gene, to do with Yiddish self parody, and it only came to the fore after she saw Lenny Bruce, and in her own words had an “epiphany”. She was studying anthropology at the time! So it took a while for her to cotton on that show business would be her raison d’etre. Everyone else could have told her she was a natural.

With that Gemini in Mercury, quicksilver asides and brash comments were already an every day reality. She penetrated to the heart of a matter, picked facts to pieces, and leaving no stone unturned cut to the chase with that desecrating humour of hers. Yet her personal life was no joke. She married twice, and has one lovely daughter, Melissa. Sadly, her second husband committed suicide. Still, Joan cannot do emotional drama, she skates the surface of complex passions, preferring a humorous approach to suffering. Never famous for her tactful take on life, she is to say the least contentious. Yet when she started out her comedy career, her stand-up shows in Greenwich Village were hugely successful. She was a force of nature, a vibrant one-off who could tell a hilarious yarn till she had you gasping for mercy. Her vision of the foibles of humanity were so riotous, she soon got spots on numerous US shows including the Johnny Carson and the Late Show. Female comediennes were as a rare commodity then as they are now, and there is no doubt she cleared the way for future “funny women” to strut their stuff.

Interestingly, she was taken off the air on a British lunchtime talk show, due to her use of raucous language, and description of Russell Crowe’s flawed personality. Joan was said to be “thrilled! by this event! She has also “appeared” in Shrek doing an even crazier version of herself, and often hosts red carpet award ceremonies with bizarre takes on fashion and gossip. Her Venus in Gemini is guaranteed to turn her multidimensional wisecracks into an art form. She twists and turns the English language around scandalous gossip with grace and dexterity. She does not do inflexible when it comes to her act; she likes to improvise on the spur of the moment.  Mainstream she is not, organised she is with that dynamic Mars in Virgo. She is a reliable performer, she keeps to the contract, and makes sure she is in good health and looks lovely enough to continually pull an interested audience. Her energy is high voltage; she can keep going for hours. 
 
There is nothing funny about her dedication to her art; it is as total as her commitment to surgical enhancements. She looks incredibly young and attractive, and has even managed to turn her “look” into an art form. She even performed a cameo as herself on the popular TV show on plastic surgery, Nip/Tuck! As weird as our Joan night look, seem and be, her fans adore her, and sit riveted to their seats as she rattles out one scandalous gag after another. She is, in short, hilarious! So what is this woman’s spiritual quest then?  Basically it is to become an incurable romantic. Pisces in her north node virtually demands a sentimental love story out of her. All that Piscean emotion wants to make her a woman who can go deep into the heart of a matter, and not joke about it. She will learn in fact that there is a mystical mystery to life, as time marches on.

These next couple of years show her contending with her health, her eating habits, and a few detox diets to keep herself in good shape. She will be tweaking certain elements of her act, changing her style slightly. Her humour will become softer, kinder, more tolerant, there is a sort of transformational energy seeping all over her lifestyle, and it will encourage her to not only live to the hilt but weave even more success into the tissue of her emotional life. Joan is a pioneer, a woman of class and charisma, who attracts us, surprises us, and always makes us laugh. Joan Rivers, continue to go for it, we will watch you on our small screens with continued fascination and hilarity.

Helena Bonham-Carter

Helena Bonham-Carter’s life is like her hit film, “Room with a View”, an expansive vision, not just over Florence, but the length and breadth of her destiny! Sun in Gemini is stimulating enough, but Moon in Leo is a magical Fairy Godmother waving her wand and gifting baby Helena with charm, a bright mind and social status – she is the granddaughter of the late Prime Minister Asquith and the cousin of Baroness Jane Bonham-Carter. Her early fame was wonderful but it could have brought one small glitch, Helena likes to sink back into the sofa rather than skip about! She likes to encapsulate varied ways of being, and has to ponder on those ways in peace. If she is pushed she digs her heels in. Sometimes these thoughtful “musings” clashed with the demands of her “out there”, young actress lifestyle, oh so Gemini!

The fact is her Edwardian good looks could have made her a Punch Magazine cover girl, long dark curls, romantic eyes, that oldie worldy sensuality, type casting her in many a melodramatic, chintzy role. But she is a modern gal, and the fact we admired her small waist, her posh accent, and those flirty old fashioned characterisations got on her nerves!  She once protested, “I hate this image of me as a prim Edwardian, I want to shock everyone!” So be warned, do not try to put Helena into a box, romantically, emotionally or career wise. She married Mr Burton, her true Twin Flame after all, and he is the epitome of genial originality,  “Edward Scissor Hands”, ”Beetlejuice”, “Sleepy Hollow”. The only contradiction to her rather “on edge” taste in lifestyle and love partner is that domesticated Jupiter in Cancer, it makes her yearn for the smell of banana cake, and a welcoming environment for friends to lounge around in and discuss Tim’s ideas.

Mars in Taurus would make her look up to his genius, express his same visions, the same artistic revelations   They will probably choose to live in some manor house as they both grow older, a country spread, with horses grazing in the fields, her horses. For now London or Los Angeles would do Helena fine, cities stimulate her mind, she was born and bred in London, and like any Londoner, narrow mindedness is not her thing, intellectual stimulation to stay sane is. Her Venus in Aries has a tendency to say “I know what is best for me” and it could have tripped her up in her younger years when certain romantic situations became “suffocating”. She can be prone to mental sparring, a bit of that old torment can bring up doubts about her value, her talent, her looks. But let’s face it, the up sides of being Helena are far too many to mention, one of them is her capacity to make her home lovely with stylish furnishings and an atmosphere that would put any Feng Shui expert to shame!

Interesting to note Helena could have deep empathy for the suffering, that Saturn in Cancer might make her want to reach out to those less fortunate, or at least to understand them. But she is no goody two shoes, she would prefer to play a background role, never blowing her own trumpet. She hates sentimentality, in that sense she is very British. Nor is she particularly self obsessed, but rather ready to “get on with it!” when necessary.   She would never cry “Tally Ho the Hounds!” either, but there is an emblematic, upper middle class feel to her, which does exclude “touchy feely”. Make no mistake, her delicate forefinger is most certainly on the pulse, and it will continue to be on that pulse over the next couple of years. There are new projects in the offing, she will focus her concentration on a symbolic vision with her husband Tim, and it will take all her imagination and creative capacity to bring into being. The fact is we will be intrigued by that Bonham-Carter magic for many years to come, no doubt of that!

Angelina Jolie

Nobody would dare call Angelina Jolie schizoid, a far too exaggerated term.  But with Sun in Gemini and moon in Aries, she has more than two precise personalities; in fact her infinite capacity to express the multi dimensional is no secret. She can show off her tattoos with pride, carry a phial of her lover’s blood around her neck, dress to kill on the red carpet, turn into a vampire over night yet she is a miracle worker. She was born in Los Angeles, California, the daughter of actor Jon Voight and a sweet, adoring French mother. Right from the start she was a special, cosmopolitan child who drew admiring glances and coos of intimidated appreciation on the film sets of Hollywood. 

Outwardly she seemed pretty easy to understand then, you know pretty sweet, pretty simple but inside her soul was building up momentum. Neptune in Sagittarius pushed her to transform beyond the pain of the breakdown of her parents’ marriage, into an avenging angel, a go getting chick with a unique philosophy of life. Angelina’s “all or nothing” take is nothing less than universal justice, children’s rights, and an end to suffering on this planet. Anyone who meets her is bowled over by her beauty, extreme individualism, deeply feeling nature, warm energy, sharp mind and all these goodies are balanced across a high wire. Angelina will not fall into that void below, She loves the human race, and is ready to make radical choices to prove it.

She empathises deeply with suffering, Venus in Cancer reflects this. One of her more surprising dimensions is her capacity to be an extremely sensitive mother, partner and wife, with a desire to merge within a tightly knit, happy family to feel easy. She wants to heal her loved ones, just as she would have liked to have been healed when her parents’ marriage collapsed, and she found it hard to shut out the pain.  She has become a doting mother, Venus in Cancer. Her professional versatility however is shown in the complexities of her starring roles, roles where she unleashes that multi dimensionality and then returns home to her babies. Even though she will accept violent roles on the film set, as we have seen in Lara Croft, she rejects its worldwide reality with visceral disgust. For her violence can only be a cartoon, nothing real that includes her truth.  This goes to show how she can remove herself from a role to make it happen for her audience.

She will learn any marshal art technique quickly and jump to attention at the crucial moment on a set piece. Her physical stamina is exceptional. Yet one would not be blamed for having a vision of Angelina as an archetypical angel as well as a leather clad warrior. She was a UN ambassador of peace, but beware, do not cross Angelina, her sense of cosmic justice is acute.  She will wait, like the proverbial Chinese proverb, on the edge of the river until your corpse comes floating by, hence her breakdown in communication with her father for so many years. Most of Angelina’s love relationships have been destined, her love for Brad is written in the stars with a touch of “we have known each other forever”. Angelina is still looking to fulfil her mission, Pluto in Libra pushes her forward with passion, and every day she is finding more of her destiny to work on. She knows she has come to this planet to fight injustice and to convince people that a new model of existence is possible.

Her astronomical salary helps her to contribute to many humanitarian projects with her husband Brad. She also uses her role as a beautiful actress, to publicise the pain in the world and is not afraid to accept unpleasant conditions during her peace missions around the world.  Angelina Jolie is a one off star of the firmament, a challenge to herself, yet a deeply sweet woman with a golden heart. More than an actress she is an ambassador of new style thinking. The only strident cord could be her beauty, for she could draw to her a secret friendship, someone who will make her yearn for even more than what she has.

Make no mistake Angelina is on the move, and we can be sure of one thing, she will constantly surprise us. The planet Neptune and the shaky state of the world could attract her to mystical pursuits and also interests she has not examined in detail as yet. So Angelina fans be prepared for some exciting news, this lady is not for burning. Angelina is a magical, astute, human being and a constant source of fascinating interest to us all!