How to butter up your boss by sign

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Work Astrology: Career Star Signs

Do you want to further your career? Work on your promotion? Are you trying to get in with a difficult boss? Are you waiting for him or her to put a good word in for you?

Obviously you have to get a lid on skills, office politics and human interaction to get on in the workplace, but how would the various Astro Club boss types interact with you? And what is the best way to get on their good side?

Aries

Want to butter up your Aries boss? Get active, get those deals going. Rush around your filing cabinet as if you are running a marathon! Make sure that you always have a biro behind your ear and a couple of reference books under your arm. Slam projects ideas on the Monday morning desk, with the coffee of course. Keep your “in box” empty and your “outbox full”. Agree they are a Renaissance man, even if they act like David Brent in “The Office”.

Taurus

Want to butter up your Taurus boss? Get on to budget cuts. Prepare outgoing bills with savoir faire and control the petty cash. A Taurus boss likes to see profits happen fast. Keep the biscuit tin full, and make sure he/she gets the morning and afternoon snack. Water the bonsai with a smile. Dress stylishly and wear jewelry. Taurus bosses dig the affluent vibe.

Gemini

Want to butter up your Gemini boss? Deal strategically with their smiling/screaming/talking bouts. Keep all information to hand, make sure they see you negotiate strategically with clients on the phone. Monitor computer programmes so they do not get accidentally erased, or see Dr Jekyll morph into Mr. Hyde before you can scream “Here’s your coffee!” Keep all your digital equipment up to date. Keep talking, when you have made a mistake, if you won’t your boss will. Keep your Sony PRS diary full, have easily accessible information re dry cleaners, local sandwich and cappuccino outlets and type fast.

Cancer

Want to butter up your Cancer boss? Make sure you do a lot of desk dusting, know names of all ex wives, children and lovers who drop in. Always have a homemade jam tart in the fridge. Do not weep at your desk, unless you want your Cancer Boss to promote you! Expect your Cancer boss to complain if you or colleagues are wearing too much make up. Make sure they have their coffee cup full. Expect nagging when you come in late. Expect crabby frowns over thorny financial problems. Expect chocolates for a job well done, which they will eat.

Leo

Want to butter up your Leo boss, smile when they delegate. Expect charisma, a like to be liked vibe. Know they will take you out to lunch if you do a good job. Compliment them on their tie or management style. Do not yawn when they talk about their personal lives. Bear their tantrums and organize great office parties and goodbye ceremonies. They will motivate you when the mood takes them. Expect their door to shut in your face when the budget bombed, or hear a primeval lion roar when the letter headed paper runs out.

Virgo

Want to butter up your Virgo boss? Make endless lists. “The things to do” list, the “things done” list, the “projects to do” list, the “projects done five minutes ago” list. Make a list of bad clients, good clients, middling clients, and possible clients. Make sure their diary is up to date. Don’t misfile, or paint your nails at the desk. Do not burst into their office when they are concentrating, or weight lifting. Make sure you are not an office bore, gossip or lazy bones, Virgos have purist views about business behaviour.

Libra

Want to butter up your Libra Boss? Dress to impress and be prepared for the Libran lecture. Expect your weaknesses to be underlined, nod graciously when the monologue is over. Never shout on the phone, in the printing room or at your colleagues. Maintain a tidy office, a chic preferably labeled, dress code and sleek make up. Join them as they pace around the office. Help them with long winded decisions, by timing them with a stop watch. Hang a nice piece of artwork near desk. Do not be seen scratching rude body parts, or brandishing tattoos.

Scorpio

Want to butter up your Scorpio boss? So be intense! Dress in deep black or dark blue suits. Do not meddle, gossip or over commit. Do not comment on company policy, and be prepared to stand up to eagle eyed perusals of a job. Work a 12 hour day, if not expect an “Attila the Hun” reaction. Be stoic. Be prepared for “stab in the back” comments about business rivals. Do not cover up mistakes with white out. If you can stand all of this you will get a promotion.

Sagittarius

Want to butter up your Saggy boss. Expect a party atmosphere. Expect them to be late for appointments. Expect inspiration. Help the Sag plan their diaries. If you make a mistake cover it up with white out. This is a boss that will laugh when the company is on its last legs so do not go by appearances. Expect Saggy bosses to trip up on wall to wall carpeting. Take a relaxed approach to disasters. Be prepared to enjoy Friday Night Happy Hours at the pub, preferably outdoors even when it is raining.

Capricorn

Want to butter up your Cappy boss? Never be late to work or look messy. Keep hair tied back or tied down. Wear somber colours. Be prepared to do unpaid overtime. Expect the Cappy boss to encourage your ambition and technical knowhow. Do not fumble with keyboards, or break down computer systems. Compile and analyze sales information with chutzpah. Never answer them with a “don’t know” instead say “I’ll get on to it!” Talk educated, Cappy bosses hate slip shod language and vulgar attitudes.

Aquarius

Want to butter up the Aquarian boss? Have your finger on every technical pulse known to man. Dress trendy and answer back. He will want you to be his friend so share. Expect the latest office machinery from super fast paper cutters, to automatic staplers. Do not get teary or hysterical if you make a mistake. Never talk to the boss about your colleagues, talk to them about your lover. Aquarian bosses like staff to be upfront and emotionally savvy.

Pisces

Want to butter up your Pisces boss? So learn to handle their vague facial expressions. Confide in them. Lay out colorful presentations, and imaginative projects. Present sales information creatively. Work on your innate customer service know how and participate in communication workshops, like Neuro-Linguistic programming. Show off with your people skills in office crises. Cover up for their office absences. When clients seek them out never let on they are down the Aquarium!


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